So when is a good time to have the next kid?

So when is a good time to have the next kid? I'm thinking like- never!

Just when I'm thinking about going back to work, my MIL instigate my hubby into "asking" me whether we should have one more baby before doing that???? I feel so sad, also a bit betrayed. He knew it has been tough. And only now I feel better, look better & lighter, I cant imagine looking like a whale again... being pregnant. I really cant. I feel so sad now. I'm so disappointed with him! Very mad with him.

I call to complain to my mum & my friends. My whole family was really mad. My friends said they treat me like a baby making machine. I think I want to move back home to my mum's!

Is Spore really the best place to have babies?

It is according to "The save the children report". According to the ranking, Singapore is the best place to be a mother in Asia, and the 15th best in the world. Yes we are ahead of Japan! Finland is no. 1!

 My friends were asking, if Singapore is such a great place to have kids, why is our fertility rate so low? Well, this goes to show no one is going to have more babies just because some report kinda of 'encourages' it.  The considerations that go into deciding to have a baby is something very personal- there's so many unique challenges for motherhood here. Top of the list is cost & time.

Can babies become addicted to tablet computers???

Experts say YES! The youngest known patient being treated in the UK is a four-year-old girl. Her parents enrolled her for compulsive behaviour therapy after she became increasingly “distressed and inconsolable” when the iPad was taken away from her. Her use of the device had escalated over the course of a year and she had become addicted to using it up for to four hours a day.  Experts have warned that parents who allow babies and toddlers to access tablet computers for several hours a day are in danger of causing “dangerous” long term effects.Children as young as four are becoming so addicted to smartphones and iPads that they require psychological treatment.

Children have access to the internet almost from birth now. They see their parents playing on their mobile devices and they want to play too. It's difficult, because having a device can also be very useful in terms of having a reward, having a pacifier. But if you don't get the balance right it can be very dangerous. They can't cope and become addicted, reacting with tantrums and uncontrollable behaviour when they are taken away. Then as they grow older, the problem only gets worse. Even the most shy kids, when they hit their teens, suddenly want to become sociable and popular.

A recent survey revealed that one in seven of more than 1,000 parents admitted that they let their young children use the gadgets for four or more hours a day. Given that babies between 3-12 months are awake for only around 10 hours per day this is a huge proportion of their waking day. Too bad although a large % of  users felt that children today spend too much time on smart devices, it hasn’t put most of them off using them to entertain their baby.

Baby Zoo outing cancelled !!!

Last weekend we had planned to go to the zoo. Even though baby is still young but I guess an early introduction to animals wont harm. Plus it's a family outing & I love the zoo- it's fun.

We had roped in hubby's best friend & wife plus their 2 year old kid. So I thought that'll be great. WRONG!!! That paranoid couple called up last minute to cancell ! Why?????

They had read  that at the Pittsburgh Zoo, a mother's attempt to give her 2 year old son a better view of wild Afrian dogs turned into a tradgedy, after the boy fell into the pit & was attacked & killed the a pack of dogs!The mother had placed her child on top of the railing at teh edge of the viewing deck. He lost his balance & fell into the pit & was attacked by 11 dogs.

It's horrifying but that's an accident right?   As in we learn from it, & not to put our kid near any dangerous animals right? Besides  it's like months back already!!!!Why do they  need to cancel? It's really strange. The friend claim that his wife was so traumized that she will not want their kid to have any pets in the future!!!!

Do babies suffer when mothers go back to work?

By assessing the total impact on a child of the mother going out to work, including factors outside the home, American academics claim to have produced the first full picture of the effect of maternal employment on child cognitive and social development. Their conclusion will provide comfort for thousands of women who re-enter the employment market within a year of giving birth.

The good news is that we can see no adverse effects. This research is unique because the question we have always asked in the past has been: 'If everything else remains constant, what is the effect of a mum going off to work?' But of course everything else doesn't stay constant, so it's an artificial way of looking at things.

Family relationships, family income, the mental health of the mother all change when a mother is working and so what the study did was to look at the full impact, taking all of these things into account.

In one of the most fraught areas of social policy and research, several studies over the past two decades have suggested that children do worse if their mothers go back to work in the first year of their lives.

Recent research by the Institute for Social and Economic Research at Essex University found that children of mothers who went back to work within the first three years were slower learners, and a 2008 Unicef study recommended that mothers stay at home for the first 12 months or "gamble" with their children's development. The Pew Research Centre in Washington found high levels of anxiety among women over the issue.

The new study, led by New York's Columbia University School of Social Work, The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Study of Early Child Care followed more than 1,000 children from 10 geographic areas aged up to seven, tracking their development and family characteristics. It found that, while there are downsides to mothers taking work during their child's first year, there were also significant advantages – an increase in mothers' income and wellbeing, and a greater likelihood that children receive high-quality childcare. Taking everything into account, the researchers said, the net effect was neutral.

The effect of the parenting itself is the key factor, It is hugely important how sensitive you are to your child's needs. Even for women who have to work more than 30 hours a week, they can make things better for themselves, they just need to take a deep breath on the doorstep, dump all the office worries behind them and go in the door prepared to pay attention to all their children's cues. This is good news for all mothers.

This is especially good news for mothers, who typically go back to work after  one to 4 months because of the lack of maternity leave. Part-time work, up to 30 hours a week, provides more desirable outcomes than full-time employment.

Parents  welcomed the findings. Women should not feel guilty whatever choices they make – and that does not mean you have to make the choice to work. Often it is the more well-off women who have the choice, while many others have to work. There is a notion that mothers should spend all their time with their children but that is wrong. You need to also do things that are just for you.

 And a career can give you that.